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Jan 18

How the Myth of the Alpha Male Has Hijacked Modern Masculinity – Fatherly

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What does it mean to be a man? More specifically, what does it mean to be a man in the U.S? In Spain? Among Native American communities? There are so many different factors both cultural and otherwise that are embedded in this question. But what does masculinity look like around the world and what similarities present themselves? And, more importantly, what does how we talk about it and attempt to explain away behaviors using biology or speak of men in terms of Alpha and Beta say about us?

In, Are Men Animals? How Modern Masculinity Sells Men Short, anthropologist Matthew Gutmann, a professor of anthropology at Brown University who has spent 30 years exploring notions of masculinity across the United States, Latin America, and China, describes how the ways society can speak about men and explain away their behavior through bad science such as when, during the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, testosterone was associated with negative male behavior limits mens emotional expression and denies them agency and accountability over their actions. For Gutmann, using such terms and phrases as testosterone, boys being boys, and just being a guy is tantamount to when doctors 30 or 40 years ago would say that women cant be leaders because their periods made them too unpredictable. In other words, he says, such talk paints men into a corner.

Fatherly spoke to Gutmann about why explaining away masculinity with biology doesnt help anyone, why the term alpha male means nothing, and why men comparing themselves to wolves and chimpanzees is not only severely limiting its also extremely misguided.

Youve spent 30 years looking at masculinity around the world. What were some things you really wanted to address in this book? What was important to you about dispelling myths about masculinity?

How stressful do you find days when your kids can't go outside?

Not stressful at all. We make the best of it

Sometimes they are, sometimes they arent. Depends on the circumstance.

Extremely stressful. Its hard to entertain them

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There is a widespread tendency to say, well, boys will be boys. So in the Brett Kavanaugh Supreme Court justice hearings, it was remarkable how many times I read the word testosterone associated with male teenage behavior. As if other boys didnt have testosterone as teenagers; as if testosterone surging through your blood, if youre a teenage boy, accounts for sexual assault against women. That, to me, is very disturbing, when we assume that teenage boys almost cant help themselves from assaulting.

Is there an extent to which being a masculine man is biological, or is more of a cultural definition?

I think that you find as much variation worldwide and historically, as you can imagine. There isnt one way of being a man in any society. But certainly, science and biology have come to be very significant and influential ways of framing or thinking in general. Its not just about men and masculinity.

What do you mean?

One-hundred years ago, youd find scientists running all over the place saying, Women cant be leaders. There have never been women leaders in parliament, in congress, except for a few queens. Thats because of biology. Dont you think if women could be political leaders, we would have seen some by now?

That was a plausible argument. So its not a new way of looking at the world, to explain it through so-called science. But its bad science. And I think that its been too long unexamined with respect to men and masculinity today. The fact is, its very easy for people to fall into thinking, This is the way men are, and this is the way women are. But thats not true anywhere.

Lets talk about definitions of masculinity. Is it defined differently in the Western world than in other cultures?

It varies a lot within the United States, too, if you really get into it. Among Native American peoples in the plains, a long tradition of whats sometimes called third-gender, berdache, two-spirit people, these kinds of things. And thats in the United States. But thats not the dominant way of thinking about men and masculinity, that you have people who were born male but would assume female roles and might have sex with other biological men and that kind of thing, but would not consider themselves gay. But you dont hear about that stuff, usually, because it doesnt fit into dominant ways of thinking.

In Southern Spain, theres been a long stereotype that if a wife wants to have sex all the time with her husband, shes trying to kill him off, because men are only born with so much sperm and when it runs out, they die. Thats exactly the flip side of what you would hear about in terms of men and sexual predation.

One-hundred years ago, in many farming communities in much of the world, where children werent going to school, men were taking their kids to the fields, particularly their young boys, but also, their daughters. Theyre going to spend a lot more time with their children. This is a pattern that is impossible in the city, if youre driving a bus or working in a factory, you cant take your kid to work.

When did the dominant way of thinking about masculinity being strong and silent, having sexual conquests, etc. became really, really mainstream?

I think its always been around to some extent. But one of the things I would emphasize is that there may be dominant ideas but theres always been pushback and a lot of confusion, debate, and argument over what it means to be a man. One-hundred and fifty years ago, people were arguing strenuously that women should vote; women should be leaders; men are not the only ones who can do this; that men can be great fathers. But that wasnt dominant. So you find people pushing back.

The fact that young men in the United States, and 70 other countries in the world, when men turn 18 or so, they have to register for the draft or a possible draft, and young women do not have to do that, why do we go along with that, unquestioningly?

Why is that the way it is? Soldiers are not carrying spears or shields. Its not an issue of upper body strength. Its because people believe theres something inherently violent, or potentially violent, about men that makes them more adaptable for war. And theres no evidence thats true.

There are violent men, but most men are not violent. You can even say most people who kill are men thats absolutely true and vital but most men are not killers. And thats just as important. And if its biological, you would expect to find all men this and all men that and you dont. Its cultural.

One thing that really intrigued me about your book was how you wrote about such species as chimpanzees and wolves. Is there an extent to which weve transposed human ideals of masculinity on to pack animals?

Right.

Can you walk that out for me?

When I was young, I would watch nature shows on TV: Animal Planet, Discovery Channel. When I would hear about the male zebra, or the male orangutan, I would pay more attention, because thats the way males of those species behave. And, it began to sink in, that men do this and women do that. The problem is that theres variation among male zebras. Theres variation among male orangutans. But even that pales in comparison among variation among human males.

What do you mean?

If you are a mallard duck, youre going to behave within a fairly limited repertoire of behavior. If youre a human male, the possibilities are not endless, but they are vast. Thats the big difference. Its not that it doesnt take a male and a female, in terms of gametes, to make offspring, and that that isnt similar across animal species. It is. Its not like there are no similarities.

But we trick ourselves into thinking that we have such narrow kinds of possibilities, as humans, if we constantly are comparing ourselves to the chimpanzees, or gorillas or other primates. But its very easy to do it. In biology textbooks, in classes at universities, youre taught that females are choosy across species, and males want to have sex with all the females they can to procreate and spread their seed.

Right. And men need to do that too, or so the myth goes.

If you think about it for half a second, its nonsense. Human males are incredibly choosy about with whom they have sex, and most people in the 21st century, when they have sex, theyre not looking to have babies. Theyre not looking to spread their seed. Thats not the point.

I read an article recently that said that theres no real concept of an alpha wolf in the wild, but it exists in captivity. What does it mean that men have totally taken on this identity, as being the alpha or the alpha wolf or alpha male when it doesnt even really exist in nature? That thats the gold standard of being a human man being an alpha?

I think again, ultimately, it excuses men being in charge. Its saying that theres something biological: that men have a need to be in charge, and females have a need for men to be in charge, and the successful men are the alphas. Its a problem on so many different levels.

One, its actually healthier, in many species, to be a beta male. You dont have nearly the same levels of stress. It can be measured through cortisol levels. Beta males among chimps are a lot healthier, in many respects. They dont have everyone attacking them. There are even some studies that say that they have more sex.

But beyond that, whats curious is that you have other species wolves, bonobos (the so-called pygmy chimpanzees) where you have alpha female led troops to a much greater extent. Females have much more of a say in terms of who gets what, and what happens when, and all of that.

But we dont generally, on nature shows, care nearly as much about those mammals, because they dont coincide with the idea that men are in charge and should be.

Just even to the extent that you say that beta males are often happier and healthier, I laughed, because it reminds me a lot of human men who posture and exhibit idealized masculinity. They often have shorter lifespans, are more stressed out, and have all these negative health outcomes. So its like, what are we doing?

I think the language we use today has been too long unexamined about men. And thats what Im trying to do in the book, is call attention. Not because its exactly the same with respect to men and women when you use this language, but its also, potentially, more dangerous if we assume that, because men have certain kinds of hormones in higher levels than women, then anything happens automatically.

The fact is that women, for ovulation, need testosterone. But we dont hear about that very much. We hear about levels of testosterone as if they correlated with anything in particular [in terms of male aggression] and it turns out they dont.

Right. Women are too hormonal to be leaders. Men have too much testosterone to not be violent.

Hubert Humphrey, a presidential candidate, had a doctor who became quite famous. At one point he said, You cannot have women leaders in charge of war, because theyre too unpredictable, biologically, and theyre likely to do anything crazy at any time. There were people who pushed back hard against that idea, but it was much more plausible to a lot more people.

The fact is, whatever you think about Trump, tens of millions of women voted for him, and somehow, that needs to be explained.

Were they all just holding their noses about what they thought about his assaults on women and his desire to assault more women? Or, did they say, Like it or not, thats just the way guys are! Hes just a guys guy! And more guys would do it if they thought they could get away with it!

That, to me, is the most dangerous kind of thinking around. Its not just men who have that thinking. Its women, too.

Its funny. The sexist assumptions about women that they cant be leaders because of their hormones are used to help limit their engagement with politics or their roles in leadership. And then, on the other hand, the really sexist misguided assumptions about men that their testosterone makes them monsters or insatiable sex addicts or whatever serves to give them a pass to do whatever. Its like the same dynamic, but moving in opposite directions.

I agree. Ive given talks on this subject and Ive had women tell me, I agree a lot with what youre saying, but the fact is that men are more aggressive than women. And I think we need to really, as the academics would say, unpack that idea. What do we mean when we say men are more aggressive? Ill start pointing in the room. Is this guy more aggressive than that woman? What about that guy over there? And all of the sudden, the argument falls apart, because if youre actually talking about real people, it doesnt necessarily apply at all. We all know that. Not all men are more aggressive than all women. Its a ridiculous thing to say. But the phrase, men are more aggressive than women, if you dont challenge it, is very easy to make and people nod their head and say, Yeah, thats just the way it is.

Men want to have sex more than women. Yeah, right.

25 years ago, people told me that men are more visually stimulated than women and thats why men like porn and women dont. I didnt believe it was true, but I had no argument. Then, the internet became widely available and women started watching porn in the privacy of their own homes. The number of women watching porn went up dramatically when there was no longer the issue of having to do it so publicly.

This biological fact of visual stimulation just disappeared as an argument, and you dont find that anymore to nearly the same extent. Similarly, its very easy to make these general statements, but we need to look more carefully, because theres tremendous variation. Its because of that variation that theres hope.

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How the Myth of the Alpha Male Has Hijacked Modern Masculinity - Fatherly

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