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Home » Lose Weight Safely » Why Uncertainty Freaks You Out And 6 Ways To Cope With It – Forbes

With more surprises 2020 might bring, how can you stay calm amidst the storm of uncertainty?

If uncertainty is unacceptable to you, it turns into fear. If it is perfectly acceptable, it turns into increased aliveness, alertness, and creativity. Eckhart Tolle

Due to its disdain for uncertainty, your brain invents all sorts of untested stories hundreds of times a day to keep you safe. A friend doesnt respond to a text, a colleague wears a frown and uses a certain tone of voice or youre not included on the guest list. If youre like most people, you assume the worst and over-personalize the event. You take these worst-case assumptions as fact without realizing it.

Why Uncertainty Freaks You Out

If youre like most people, uncertainty can cause you tremendous anxiety. Your brain is constantly updating your world, making judgments about what's safe and what isn't. To the human mind, uncertainty equals danger. If your brain doesn't know whats around the corner, it cant keep you out of harms way. It always assumes the worst, over-personalizes threats and jumps to conclusions. (Your brain will do almost anything for the sake of certainty). And youre hardwired to overestimate threats and underestimate your ability to handle themall in the name of survival.

Your brains hefty responsibility to keep you safe means it hates lifes inevitable uncertaintysulfuric acid for your lizard brain. Its why so many of us meltdown right before a big trip or why instability at work can cause a bigger toll on our health than actually losing a job. Its why even the most rational-minded adult might feel unsettled when they wonder who lurks underneath the clown makeup. When certainty is questioned, your lizard brain goes haywire, instantly kicking you in the pants in an attempt to spur you to action and get you to safety. Waiting for certainty can feel like torture by a million tiny cuts, and youre consumed with anxiety. Will I contact the coronavirus? Will the MRI reveal cancer? Will I get the job? Whos in the house when the alarm goes off, friend or foe? The ground beneath you opens up, threatening to swallow you, or so it feels. Your serenity is seriously screwedbut hey, at least youre safe, right?

Safety Can Limit Career Success

Safety doesnt equal success or happiness, though. Safety equals safety. Period. No matter what, the survival mind insists on knowing an outcome one way or another to take the edge off. Its more stressful wondering if youll get to your meeting on time than knowing youll be late. Its more anxiety-inducing to know youll divorce than being unsure of it. And its more fearful not knowing if youre going to get sacked than knowing for sure you lost your job. Research shows the brain even prefers physical pain to uncertainty. British researchers found that study participants who knew for sure they would receive a painful electric shock felt calmer and less agitated than those who were told they only had a 50% chance of getting the shock. No wonder you fight or flee when it doesnt know which way is up.

Unfortunately, though, while avoiding uncertainty may help you stay safe and sound, the cocoon your primitive brain constructs for you is a virtual prison. The same assumptions that keep you safe permeate every sphere of your life. They prevent you from growing and reaching your dreams. Youre led in the wrong direction, creating heartbreak and dissension, and wasting vast amounts of time and energy. You say you want to lose weight, but youre afraid of your inability, so you continue to overeat. You say you want to find your soul mate but find a reason to turn down every dating opportunity. You claim you want success, but refuse to explore the unknown.

6 Tips To Cope With Uncertainty

1. Surrender to the unknown. Dancing With The Stars champion, Julianne Hough, is a huge advocate of embracing uncertainty, especially during challenging times like the coronavirus pandemic. She told me she attributes it to her success and ultimate happiness:To embrace uncertainty, to surrender to the unknown, as hard as that may be, I believe thats where the magic happens. If we already know what we want, weve already set a limitation for ourselves. When you go into the unknown, you go into the light, the complete uncertainty and you have no idea, but thats when you can create ultimate possibility. So, embrace the unknown, embrace the presence of, I have no idea what tomorrow will hold, but I do have the power and control within myself to make a choice of who I am today.

2.Develop uncertainty tolerance. Despite your best efforts, things wont always go as planned. Expectations will go awry, unexpected events will blindside you, and you will experience disappointment and rejection. If uncertainty is unacceptable to you, you only amplify your fear and end up at war with yourself, resisting and arguing with life rather than living it. Notice what youve resisted that has kept you from reaching your dreams. Ask if youve tried to force, resist or cling to something or someone over which you have no control. Then consider accepting whatever youve worked hard to control, and challenge yourself to control your response to what you cant control. Take a deep breath, spread your arms, and imagine welcoming the unknown with an open heart, as you might a lantern guiding you in the darkness. See if youre able to accept the unknownno matter whatand use the unpredictable outcomes to cultivate a growth mindset and thrive fully into the person you were meant to be.

3.Look for the opportunity in the difficulty

Unchecked, your need for certainty can inadvertently siphon the joy out of your life as in the morning Sarah Elizabeth Malinak, an Asheville, North Carolina writer and photographer, said she had been working at her computer. When she got up and glanced out the window, she noticed everything was white. There'd been no snow in the forecast, she said. But there was snow covering everything and falling in the largest flakes I'd ever seen! My first response? A little panic. She went on to say that the uncertainty of how much snow might fall and the consequences thereafter were forefront in her mind. I quickly tallied up how much food we had on hand and the likelihood that my husband would get home safely within the hour. Then she found her suddenly making a U-turn as her thrive mind took over and began to celebrate the unexpected event: I saw the opportunity in the snow and got busy having fun taking pictures.

4.Keep An Unmade Mind

Your perspective is the most powerful thing you can control in a situation that is beyond your control. Fear, panic and worry are not preparation. They add insult to injuryanother layer of stress that can compromise the immune system and paradoxically make us even more stressed out. When your mind is already made up before each new experience, you become unteachable and can no longer receive insights. Unmaking your mind or emptying it of expectations opens you to receive the teachable moments in each new experience. Buddhists call it the beginners mindbeing open to many possibilities instead of closed to all but one. For every situation, there are numerous possible outcomes. By learning to be okay with maybe, you become more comfortable with uncertainty and open yourself to possibility.

5.Keep your focus on what you can control. When youre faced with uncertainty, focus on things around you that you can control. Dwell on positive aspects of your life where you can make a difference. Consider the personal resources at your fingertips, instead of the unknowns: staying healthy, getting ample sleep, exercising, meditating, eating well, and establishing strong social supports. Remind yourself how they provide an opportunity for you to stay grounded. When was the last time you soaked in a hot bath, meditated, or got a massage? Make a fifteen-minute appointment with yourself and schedule personal time so you have more to give and receive. Then, reach out to others, stay in touch with loved ones and volunteer to help when and where you can.

6.Frame unknowns as adventures instead of problems. Just as theres a fine line between good news/bad news, theres a fine line between excitement and terror. On autopilot, your lizard brain lures you into looking at unknowns as a threat or problem that needs solving. When you flip that perspective, you can frame the situation as an adventure or challenge. That outlook automatically expands your perspective and welcomes in possibilities and solutions instead of eclipsing them with problems. You feel excitement instead of fear. Studies show that this perspective shift makes you feel empowered and less anxious instead of victimized by uncertainty.

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Why Uncertainty Freaks You Out And 6 Ways To Cope With It - Forbes

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Home » Lose Weight Safely » Why Uncertainty Freaks You Out And 6 Ways To Cope With It – Forbes