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Mar 23

The Coronavirus Makes Having Work Friends More Important Than Ever: 6 Tips For Building The Best Relationships – Forbes

The coronavirus makes friends at work more important than ever.

Youve known that having good work friends can help you be more satisfied and stay at your job longer, but in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, they are more important than ever. While youre working from home, and while youre practicing social distancing, friends are critical to mental health and overall wellbeing. Friends help you gain perspective, tap into self-control and offer your bestat work and in your community.

Youve heard of the classic marshmallow testthe evaluation where children are told they may have one treat immediately or they may have two treats if they wait until the researcher returns to the room. Children who delay gratification and exercise self-control turn out to have more success later in life. A new twist on the marshmallow test points to the power of relationships. Research in Psychological Science provided children with a similar conundrum. This time they assigned the children a partner whom they had met, but who was in a separate room. Children could have one cookie immediately, or if they and their partner both held off on eating it, they could both have two cookies. Children who were in the situation with a partner were found to be able to delay gratification more often.

This is the power of partnerships and being in a context where cooperation is valued. In addition, it points to the positive influence of social obligationor reciprocityin which people expect they owe something to others when they are in a relationship together. Its social obligation that keeps us home during the coronavirus pandemic and causes us to make decisions that are not just in our own best interest, but in the best interest of the whole of the community.

Even when were working from home and forced apart physically, work is fundamentally social, and it is a rare job which doesnt require high amounts of collaboration. In addition, we know from Vital Friends by Tom Rath, having a best friend at work is a primary reason people choose to stay with an organization.

So, if cooperation, collegiality and friendship are so important for success through work, how can you build powerful friendships in the work experienceespecially when youre not in the office together? Here are six tips:

Seek out tasks. One of the most powerful ways to build relationships at work iswellthrough the work. While team building is a nice-to-have, winning the three-legged race with a colleague isnt possible at the moment and it was less likely, anyway, to cement a bond. Working on a tough project together, collaborating on a challenging topic or working together on a difficult customer issue are much more likely to ensure long-lasting connection. Its task-oriented efforts that build relationships most intensely.

Avoid competing. While competition is seemingly part of all kinds of work, it can be more impactful to find ways to cooperate internally and ensure competition is turned outside of the organization. Working together to beat the competition or create new innovations that will help your business recover after COVID-19 will win the day and will make your time with colleagues more rewarding.

Help others get ahead. In the marshmallow experiment, making a good decision (putting off eating the treat) helped both the first child and the child with whom s/he was partnered. Work is like this too. Do your best work so others can do theirs. Follow up, follow through and be responsive to others around you, so they can in turn do good work. Especially when there are so many day-to-day challenges in living life in new ways, responsiveness toward people at work will help remove friction when there are so many other, non-work-related challenges all of us must face.

Be real. Sometimes, the best support is a colleague who can realize how tough something is and validate you. In a study by Drexel University related to weight loss, people were able to lose more weight when they were reminded how difficult the task was. This type of approach had a greater positive impact than simply encouraging or cheerleading (you can do it). It seems having someone put a name to your reality and reinforce your experience can have a positive effect. This is the kind of friendship to seek and offerthose who can be realistic about challenges and offer support to help you get through them.

Listen. New research from Wake Forest University found peoples cortisol levels, a measure of their stress levels, were positively affected when they were supported by a partner who listened and acknowledged their feelings. This kind of support is known as safe haven support. Look for the kind of relationships where there is time for camaraderie and empathy in addition to the requisite problem solving needed for the work.

Offer challenging perspectives. In addition to building relationships where there is safe haven support, also seek relationships with support that challenges you. In order to do our best, we need friends who will be brutally honest and point out where we can do better. These are the friends who will tell you that you have the figurative spinach in your teeth. Team members who can help you correct a less-than-helpful trait and become better are the friends who will help you succeed in the long term.

The circumstances created by the coronavirus make friendship more important than ever. No matter what were going through and no matter what our age, friends can help us be our best and building great relationships through work is always good for your career and your effectiveness. Make the most of your relationships with others at work by bonding over work tasks, avoiding competing with others, helping others, being real, listening and offering challenging perspectives. These are the kinds of patterns that enhance your success and help ensure youre surrounded by people who will help you be your best through our immediate struggles with the coronavirus and when the world returns to a new normal.

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The Coronavirus Makes Having Work Friends More Important Than Ever: 6 Tips For Building The Best Relationships - Forbes

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